Category Archives: The AF Love

Abah in Memory…

Abah in Memory…


My Beloved Abah – 15.01.1946 – 27.11.2016


Don’t’ you love Oxford Dictionary?

I remember how you force me to read it…
A thick book with loads tiny words…
Hate at first but when I started to read.
I thought it was a long beautiful poem about everything…
Amazingly, I love it !

I am a Kampung Girl from Pasir Mas.
A tiny village in Kelantan.
Native slang is our mother tongue
Plus a mixture dialect with the Siam
Speaking English is outlandish.

He bought me an Oxford Dictionary
And a New Straits Times newspaper daily

For me to read and learnt new words a day

Since then, I was called “Budak Putih” at school and the “Arrogant One” to some
It was fine and sometime, I talk to myself out loud…
And even act like “a Queen of England” in my own room.

Mama said I am out of my mind but Abah said it was fine
Always be the one to read the English poem on stage every school assembly
My English teacher loves me so much
She names her first daughter after my name…Norafiza
I was so young then and do not understand…

Time flies and have changed …
Now I know why and understand…

Thank you Abah…for making me a dictionary reader.
I read then and still do now and will do forever
It is priceless and it will be remembered
Shall pass to my kids and their kids after them

And shall continue with another finest piece of literature on earth…
The mother book of all… the nobel Al-Qur’an
With God blesses and wills…all shall be okay and all at ease.

I miss you Abah…Al-Fatehaa

Abah in Memory…
Peace be upon you…
Zakaria Hj.Abdul Hamid


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Muse o Mine


Pitch Black

It was dark…totally pitch black !

Sight in the first blink of my eyes; just after the 8 hours of my Brain Tumour Pterional Craniotomy Surgery…terrified, panicked, freaked-out; whatchamacallit…I was DOOMED…game over!_My mind ticked !!

Deep breathing with a little prayer and hope…after few blinks, there it goes, ray of light started to peep in with familiar images started to visualized. I recognized them…Yeah, I can see….Yeah, I CAN SEE !

GOD is Great,I am blessed !
#throwback_18th September 2012

Light at the end of the tunnel…

There’s what I always think it is.  Hoping this chaos, this convoluted mess, web of confusion, this pit of darkness; somehow something good will come out of it. Miracles happen to help make sense of the battle, the turmoil, the pain, the exhaustion. One thing that all these series of unfortunate events did to me was bring out my personality totally to the full force.


Using this moment, an absolute the turning point, to rebuild, refocus and realize what this new life is all about. Ruminate and reminisce…it’s sad that I have not taken priority in the earlier stage this blues and fuelled it into this vibrant, energetic, motivated and inspired me. Instead I mope and feel weakness pulsating through every vessel. I do not over-share in the beginning because I do not think anyone will understand. Instead it manifests into more sorrow and an overflow of exhaustion. Gosh!!

Have I cried enough? … Well, I cannot recall but yeah…Yes, in my own way.

Do I think I am a burden to my partner? …Yes and so so Yes !

Am I selfish? … A little bit Yes !

Do I feel pressure to have moved on already? …Totally Yes !

Am I different? …Absolutely Yes !

Am I lucky? …Probably Yes !

I want to wipe away all the anguish and just feel better. I am so want to have a good day in each every single day. Everything now starts with “Ever since I survived…,” there is that cloud, this moment of grasping for air and trying to understand how to cope, reflect and stand up. This is a new beginning. Dealing with few major unfortunate events in life forces every vein in my well-being to face my real self, my identity, everything I knew …All of me !

With Almighty GOD gifts and loves, with a simple and adequate upbringing, with a good mixing blood in me, a true-true Scorpion that I have always been;  had very powerful feelings about things and an ability to be able to feel so much love towards people, but at the same time can hurt me like crazy. That is something that I have needed mentoring on, and that I have had to grow into. I have to keep moving forward, venture to a new career path, renew faith in self, to recommence romance, a growing family, a totally new life…?

Answer is…I evolve to a better person than I was before…

I found ways to heal mind, body, spirit and soul, but never healed my heart. The biggest thing I have learned in this round of reinvention after the Brain Tumour and Cancer is the importance of Self-Love. My perceived faults were never flaws, nor even mistakes. Embracing that helped me to accept all that I am, and all that others are as well. I cannot fully love, forgive, or embrace others until I can do the same for myself. I have finally managed to decouple these people I have loved from the matrix of post-traumatic stress triggers, simply by choosing to love them again. That trapped child within has finally been released, and is free to just Love again….Love conquers all…Love Life !


“Togetherness – L.O.V.E “

New life resurrection…

It’s all started when I took a chance and decided to solely in charge to develop the interior design of an International corporate office based in Malaysia just after my remission. At first I thought it was just a same old typical job that I have done before. But, it started to develop during my site visit, first time I saw this 16 foot tall colourful human sculpture titled “Togetherness” at the site main entrance of the prestige building in the heart of Kuala Lumpur City Centre, The Platinum Park. It perceives “LOVE” to me. I was moved by how powerfully yet simply it represented how I have felt about one too many people over past years. Some might say the sculpture represents people’s egos, pride, and resentment. Allowing pain to persist when people are unwilling or unable to resolve bad situations with each other even though deep inside; the inner side of me is reaching out towards the other with LOVE.

People, Process and Progress…

The positive vibes and energy from the sculpture then transferred to the people. I had been introduced to the team member of the job, which very interesting as much as I learn about them and the more I interacted with them, I realized I was thrilled to work closely with this amazing team. Ranging from the Client-Customer, the Leader and the Manager to the Builder; each of them has a good personality quality and interesting character, are very much in tune with each other, has a great sense of team spirit, believes in their purpose, and runs the operation and shift without a formal leader in the middle of things. We have a “shared philosophy” and I must admit and put in word that…this is the first time ever I feel, I have worked in a whole and comprehensively accomplished.


The People


The Project

Throughout the process, we challenged, questioned, resolved conflicts, and argued. As a result, we left with specific plans and commitments to develop into a success results. The hard work and effort paid off as I became known as “the star” of the project and singled out as “special” compared to my other few hundreds jobs. I was motivated by the positive attention, the empowerment, and the pride that goes along with being the best. As a result of this experience, it is clear the team developed out of a clear understanding to compete against the goal instead of each other. We stayed self-driven and self-directed as a result of being allowed to become more than our “individual selves”.


One of All

To self-accomplish, after all I realized and learn that I finally found the precious thing that I have lost; MY LIFE !  Been surrounded with great people from different background and different practises with positive vibes somehow boosted the serotonin in me and precisely there was ONE and still is ONE particular amazingly inspiring that just make me smile again and most importantly…bring my life back! Thank you !

In the progress, now I fully aware that life is short so why make it shorter as I can make it sweeter. I will do as much as I can to fulfil those many blanks in my life. Continuously I will…

…”Preserve the existence; conserve the possession…Quest of ventures; Pursuit of Endeavours”…

Clock ticked and ready to be unstuck…

After few months of joyride, the project finally reached the completion then again here I am…the melancholia triggered. Sadden but there is always the beginning of each ending. I was up there for a while and back to down here once more time. That is life that I have to leave in…always resentment to contentment; pressure to pleasure;hostility to serenity…that I cannot allow myself to be under the line again…Never again. I must find the remedy to the catastrophe, seeking for opportunities, booked the flight ticket and enjoy the journey. Damn it…what a roller coaster ride!

Teasing my mind to arouse my creativity…

                                   ….”Where art thou, Muse o ma creation…”

Like all things I really want in my life, sometimes I just need to reprogram the thoughts, feelings, and beliefs to support what I want to move into a creative mindset. Really, that is the gist of it.

Again, deep breathing with a little prayer and hope…I lie back, relax and take pleasure in exploring few provocative ways to arouse my creativity. Count my blessings and spend time with love ones and LOVE MY MIND…Start pursuing my free writing, write from a real me and WRITE MY MIND or write craps…Get away from the computer, take my pencil, my sketchbook and SKETCH MY MIND…Listen to new sound, new music and SING MY MIND… Meet new people from different walks of life, strike up a conversation in any way and SPEAK MY MIND…Do something that makes me happy; that brings me joy; that make me feel loved; that centers me and FEEL MY MIND…Be in the moment or I call this ‘being in the zone‘ and BE MY MIND !

These are all muses to me…maybe a living or non-living…pursuit or activity…active or reflective, but it is important to me because it has potential to heal, inspire, motivate, uplift, and reveal me. In my fast paced creative world, the muse often becomes the island of solace and becomes a very necessary part of my inner creativity growth and the evolution of myself.

I may have stumbled upon my muse accidentally, or through intentional or very deliberate processes, or simply by processing what I like and do not like to do, or through experiencing personal tragedy. I believe that searching for Muse o Mine is part of my life script and chapter. I also think that it is a form of modern questing. In this adventure, I do not pretend to have any definitive answers, magic formulas or award-winning storybook. I am simply a Designologista who is also looking, but who is willing to share parts of my discoveries and tales of my life. In essence, it is time to make friends with my inspirational muse…The Muse o Mine !


“Where art tho, Muse o ma Creation”

In GOD, I trust and believe…It’s a blessed and bliss

To dearest Muse o ma Creation , Inspirational Muse o Mine…you move me and I do not know how to thank you that much…but you always have and always will be …the ONE that makes and colours the Insignias of Afiey… !


Insignias of Afiey

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Insignias of Afiey…


Insignias of Afiey…

A life journal I have been contemplating all these years. My own personal long-awaited project is now officially Kick-Off…!!

I would not let blank pages intimidate me.

I shall begin with gripping and get going with it. Will show it and breathe life into it with colours, trivia, and details and guide you through to feel it…Will jog my memory by digging up my yesterdays, checking some of my worn diaries and vintage pictures…Will play detective, asking my close clans for reminiscences and nostalgias.

It will be purely me as perfectly imperfect, flawed and wonderful at the same time, simply human you will relate.

My prose probably is awkward, not right and not important enough. It might take days, months or years. Hope all is well and I will do it, keep writing until I get it just right!

In the name of GOD and with HIS willing…It begins with Blessed !!

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this lease of life…

Exactly at this hour, 11.30pm on this date 17th September last year…I was lying in a hospital bed talking to my neurologist about my Pterional Craniotomy Surgery procedure on the next morning.

Gosh! I can’t believe that tomorrow is my ONE year anniversary of my brain surgery. Thank you GOD for granting me this lease of life…I am so blessed with all your unconditional Loves.

After endured an eight-hour brain surgery, 10 days hospital stay and 4 months hospitalization leave without complaint, I learnt and faced my days with confidence, hoping to be better, stronger and able to do more independently in whatever endeavors.

Yeah, it was such an eventful one year really and here I am now…feeling great as always.

Colors of AF

Colors of AF

   “…I cannot change my yesterday but I will make the most of my today and look with hope toward my tomorrow…”

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Beginning is a new Ending

Praise to Almighty that I am still here and fully alive to face the New Year 2013..! Hope everyone is alive too and wishing all a very Happy New Year with the new Chapter. So now, I guess the movie “2012” is officially a Boo Boo and same goes to the Mayan who’s prediction!



Indeed 2012 was such an eventful year for me and family with all those ups and downs, happiness and sadness but here I am, still breathing and surviving to face 2013. I hope new year will grant more happiness and health to me, my family and to us all.

Last 12 years ago, after Y2K, which was in year 2000 the 2nd Millennium year, I did it again tonight – walking around in Kuala Lumpur city centre on New Year eve with my loved ones *now with additional our darling Ally for sure…:)) We were there with few more thousand people, locals and tourist gearing up for the New Year Countdown at Kuala Lumpur Merdeka Square.

It was well planned to end the eventful 2012 with something lively and start 2013 in a great spirit. As usual, it’s always have and always be a double celebrations on the last day of the year. It’s the 41th Birthday of my beloved husband on 31st December and New Year Eve on 1st January. In order to be there by midnight and not to be stuck in a massive traffic, we started our festive celebration journey by taking a MyRapid light rail transit (LRT) from my place to the heart of Kuala Lumpur and walked to the hotel.

Yes! We have pre-booked a traveller boutique hotel located within Kuala Lumpur City Centre, Leboh Ampang the historic downtown area, which is near the KL Merdeka Square, the Central Market and also the famous China Town – The Petaling Street. The hotel called “Hotel 1915” as it’s occupying an elegant old building that constructed in 1915 and freshly renovated in chic modern contemporary welcoming interior design concept. Complete with sustainable green materials and finishes and muted shades of grey, olive and white. We’re quite impressed with the Hotel in overall from the location, the architecture and design, the concept, services and facilities. It’s just nice and perfect and fully recommended for the first timer Kuala Lumpur traveller.

Hotel 1915 Facade

Hotel 1915 Facade

Hotel 1915 Reception

Hotel 1915 Reception

Hotel 1915 Waiting Lounge

Hotel 1915 Waiting Lounge

After checked in the hotel, we walked to the Central Market and Petaling Street – The China Town. Then we walked around the city enjoying and absorbing the city centre night feels. An hour to midnight we finally walked back to our hotel to keep our stuff and get ready to march with other thousands more people on the road to the KL Merdeka Square. It’s totally amazing experience -The people, the colours, the loudness and cheers, those vuvuzelas, whistles, blowers, and those batteries powered colourful head-gears…they were tremendously crazy.!!

2013 New Year Eve Crowd at Kuala Lumpur Merdeka Square

2013 New Year Eve Crowd at Kuala Lumpur Merdeka Square

Bang Bang Boom...The Fireworks !

Bang Bang Boom…The Fireworks !

A few more seconds to 12am 1st January 2013…everyone started counting…5,4,3,2,1…..and cheering….Happy New Year !!! Then, Bang Bang Boom above us all…those Firework displays were AF spectacular!!!

It was great be out here, breathing some fresh air and be somewhere like home away from home after my 4 months Post Surgery recovery period. Nevertheless, It’s a New Year…The new Year with the New Beginning, New Hopes and a New Creative Healthy Me…;)

Happy 2013.

Happy 2013.

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Happy 41th Birthday my CINTA (LOVE)

My in LOVE

My CINTAs…as in LOVE

My Partner my Lover, he is now forty one
Gotta reach up for a kiss cuz he ain’t no shorty man
He’s tall, he’s dark and he’s handsome too
Don’t try to clock him cuz he said I do
I do already to a girl – like 16 years back
I do already to a girl – that’s me, his sweetheart

Doesn’t matter if you feel and looking good

Better than you should

For a guy whose turning 41 from the four Zero

Still Hot as a Volcano…Kickin ass like Theo

Still Hard like Armadillo…Yummy like Cocoa

Still Flexible like Playdoh…Smooth Spicy like Aglio Olio

Even at 41 he looks so young

35 year olds folks still call him son

Mistakenly think him as a Uni Student sometime

Well baby, Praise to HIM …it’s a great compliment.

Wishing you many happy days

Of being great in so many ways

Happy happy forty one, may more to come

Keeps it going till the break of dawn

So never change baby, just stay as you are

Your heart, your way, your repertoire

Here in Kay Jay, Kay Ell and everywhere

Wherever you go
You should always know
I love you so and GOD loves you more
As much as air and as crystal clear as H2O

Happy 41th Birthday, love.

 Yours truely

Afiey – 31.12.12

…Inspired by lmrs

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